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Posted by
on Tuesday, January 17 @ 05:28:22 UTC
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: Tears In My Heart
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on Tuesday, January 17 @ 05:28:22 UTC
Anonymous writes:: " Tears In My Heart
DEDICATED TO BABIES YET B'CONCEIVED, YET IN THE WOMB, YET TO BE BORN.
Weep oh world wrapt in woes
Thou unto thyself hast matched on thy toes
Tottering and toddling, man bemused poised
For his morrow hast he from bud nipped
Of it in my thought to think 've pondered
The sprouting sowed seed beneath still strangled
In it's spirit's light-longings bereft
Of life to live lynched, in hostility theft
Sojourning soulfully so soon in sorrows
Like of Caesar's heart spilled with arrows
The progeny's Brutus-mother it's haven estranged
Mutilated in cruelty, it's breath in libation poured
And you mother? Bemoans thy flesh you've maimed
Lo, if unto thy beginning be then put an end
Oh, for humanity's morn in this agora spare their part
'Tis our pains, the tears in my heart.
Johnbosco Ken Amakeze
"
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Re: Tears In My Heart (Score: 1)
by BodhiTree (burningbright2@aol.com) on Tuesday, January 17 @ 22:30:48 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | I have already given you my views on abortion on your other poem "a precious pearl" so i wont bore you again.
~
I think this poem is convoluted, it isnt as free flowing and playful as "precious perl". I think it is the usage of more archaic language and your focus on rime and meter.
I think you just come out and say exactly what you think and how it makes you feel, dont hide behind the veil of pretty language. I used to do something similar, because I couldnt except myself nor more less than sophisticated vocabulary. However, I learned that my emotions and my ideas were more important. the words will follow the emotions. You will probably have a hard time using the words at first, but they will figure themselves out on paper from your brain.
I have found asking myself questions about a subject I cant put down always helps. also just brainstorming, you know, a web of ideas or just a list or even just begin with "I dont know what to write." a lot of times when i begin the latter process, its funny because I keep writng "I cant write, Im a hack....there is nothing to write" and then suddenly, my ideas unfold.....it works! its like magic!
here are some questions to ponder:
what are some experiences of your own, as a woman, have had on this subject? have you ever known anyone who was pregnant and didnt want the child? Have you ever been pregnant yourself? what are your feelings on female empowerment? why is human life so important anyway, if it just begins as a tiny cell? (I was at one time pro-choice so I used this argument a lot). How do you feel about those that get the abortion? do you feel pitty, disgust, anguish etc?
there are a bunch more, but i think this will set you on the right path....
by the way, dont make a general statement to humanity to stop abortion, be humble about your thoughts a beliefs, it makes you more personable.....nobody likes to listen to just one view and feel as if the person is yelling at them while the person yelling is but a couple inches from their face.
Nicole |
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