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Posted by
on Saturday, February 04 @ 21:28:15 UTC
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: Lose Notes From My Dreams
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on Saturday, February 04 @ 21:28:15 UTC
marinka writes:: " Mormons tried to save her,
but they couldn’t tell her why:
Linear equations and standard deviations
reflect the quantitative perfection
God neglected to allow her.
Why:
She could never be Rapunzel or anything alike.
Her hair was too short
Her anatomy lacking symmetry
Hearing her favorite sound
Selective hearing [at its best]
Balding pencil against tattered paper.
Noting her reused rags begin to itch.
Reflecting
Remembering amidst unfocused focus
A memory. A dream.
Large echoing room
High ceilings built high above the unimaginable, the unattainable.
Feet settling low. Worn-down soles marching
Her soul through another synthetic slumber.
She’s sleeping.
The windowless wall breaks to show
9:30 am California time. Or maybe Mexico.
Seaside seashore she sees the broken door
letting blue. Dark blue. And white. White foam crashing,
thrashing inside the supposed doorway.
She is stuck. Needs to be saved.
And so she will.
The dream ticks on.
Water crashing. Thrashing. Filling the high ceilings. Reaching.
(alarm is set for 9:45)
Rapunzel’s locks fall like
Grandpa’s Sunday night spaghetti
Strings and strings
Strong and ready
To be saved.
And so she will.
The Pisces inside her swims free
She swims and floats and floats and floats...
The water never touches the ceiling.
It’s unimaginable. Unattainable height unmatched by the crashing and thrashing.
She swims on.
Someone in the distance yells.
No Mas! No Mas!
Rapunzel’s hair is being ripped from her head. The prince fucked up.
No Mas! Turns into neeeeee neee neee neee.
9:45.
"
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Re: Lose Notes From My Dreams (Score: 1)
by algoressister (algoressister48@yahoo.com) on Monday, February 06 @ 11:10:58 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Hi, Dream is interesting......and the end is a panic....only way you could have done it. Thanks..........ttfn Laurel |
Re: Lose Notes From My Dreams (Score: 1)
by waterlotus on Monday, February 06 @ 14:35:34 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | This is fantastic! Honestly you need to check out spoiledink.com I am getting ready to cancel my account here and focus over there. I loved to flow, the difinate dream feel.
I am struck by the Mormon line you started out with, I would love for you to tie it in again later on in the poem, or as a more accurate springboard by which the dream be triggered by |
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Average Score: 0
Votes: 0
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