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Posted by
on Tuesday, May 06 @ 00:00:00 UTC
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One more Broken Heart
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on Tuesday, May 06 @ 00:00:00 UTC
probat writes:: " Every day and night I can hear you saying my name
Lady you loved me but you loved me for money and fame
I thought I gained a friend but all I gained was a broken heart and a tear in my eye
Baby yesterday we were laughing and today we walk away without a good bye
Love can be so brutal and reckless that it can let you drown in your own tears
Girl how could you destroy the love and bond that we built through the years
The nights of talking and days of laughing at each others joke's is what I miss
The radio plays another love song and I can visualize the way we used to kiss
Don't you dare apologize because the sleepless nights are to much to bare
My heart a battle scene abandoned and the pain and loneliness me they scare
Tonight in my dream I see the both of us crying while we listen to our favorite song
Once more pain has invaded me and my courage unfortunately will not exist for long
I walk through were we kissed each other for the first time and your lips were missing
The lips that betrayed, destroyed and made me cry like a little kid who is kissing?
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Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by xxbabyrenxx on Thursday, July 03 @ 23:44:52 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | damn i love your poem. it seems very emotional and personal to you yet people can relate to it or at least to some parts of it. i respect your writing ad ability to put your emotions into your poetry. keep on writing! : ) |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by Cabbage on Tuesday, September 02 @ 17:47:56 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | This is good, i mean goooood, i like it, i like what you've done with the ryhme :) nice one! |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by SaintInExile on Wednesday, November 19 @ 16:03:15 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | "are to much to bare"
"My heart a battle scene"
"pain and loneliness me they scare"
proof-read. Good poem though, i like the emotion involved, but when have you ever seen a crying little kid who is kissing? |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by Sdstccruelty on Tuesday, December 23 @ 22:02:08 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | nice |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by porcelainwinter on Friday, January 02 @ 02:15:45 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | have you thought of putting this to music? it's very lyrical. i like it :) |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by ChelseyLee on Friday, January 23 @ 18:48:27 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | when i read that i felt this emotion that was like wow. Im really impressed with all your writing. and i love to read ur poems. great job.
ChelseyLee |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by sats on Monday, January 26 @ 06:45:26 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Cool poem and who is the loser i think they are to have given up on someone who could put there heart and soul on paper a person to be admired not someone to feel sorry for i personally feel sorry for them not you!. |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by Baby_Girl on Tuesday, March 09 @ 16:54:26 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | i'm new to this site, but i have to say so far your poem is my favorite!!! i agree it is lyrical, and you should try putting it to music. |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by InspiredByU on Wednesday, April 28 @ 20:43:34 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Wow! thats all i have to say! great poem..i would love to see you keep writing. I agree with everyone, it could be an excellent song! good job i love it! |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by Rosebud1383 on Monday, May 17 @ 15:29:53 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Ok ' |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by cutebeka on Sunday, July 18 @ 09:32:07 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | good but too senyencey makes it sound more like a song |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Monday, November 15 @ 07:43:27 UTC | I don't know if I like it or not. It didn't reach me.
JDcool |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by Orobourus (Burningbright2@aol.com) on Monday, December 27 @ 21:53:49 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | I'm not sure....why are you getting so many wonderful reviews again? Oh yeah, because everyone seems to be able to identify with you on this. I have a question to pose, a little unorthodox for poetry, why is it those of us who are here and those of us who are outside love to dine on poetry like this, the type that suggests love and yearning? why I ask you? All the redundant ideas? why all the same angst? Why the same verbiage used like a rag going thread bear in the wash?
I wonder as I sit here and wish to tear out my hair, bleed however possible, have some compassion for the love I think is paltry.... that’s it.... I think love is stupid and therefore poetry like this (I have to admit some love poetry strikes me) doesn’t appeal to me....
The words are simplistic and this simplistic nature is quite nice to read. You make a picture of ideas and ideals, you're right poetry has the ability to be what it wants...I don’t care what the perpetual bastard from the UK perv says... poetry has fucking changed.... it has grown out of its confines of the past, it has superseded the shadow of Shakespeare and Poe (two poets I adore but haven’t the audacity to MIMMIC). I suppose if you want people to get up to date by going backwards you certainly need a psychiatrist. Not only that, perhaps you need to start reading other writers, perhaps you need to open up that big brain of yours (which I know isn’t just hot air), perhaps you need to take the initiative of becoming an individual...I know it might be painful, however I know you'll come out alive, perhaps better!
...I detracted from my purpose here didn’t I?
Ok, so this poem doesn’t appeal to me but it seems to for a lot of others, but I know that so do other ideas and subjects. Subjects affecting our world and society.... I want for you to think on this: more writers involved...we all have a voice and our voices should not be solely based in our tiny niches, closed from what the world must go through. I know if we, you, anybody really just took an interest in the outer banks then perhaps our egos would also encapsulate it too. Our own emotions going into something hurting the masses. An individual account about the whole.... or a part of it.... but something large and happening....
Im an idealist could you tell? *Steps off of soap box*
Elinor
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Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by eyerice on Wednesday, December 29 @ 09:34:06 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | I dont find the poem that interesting but love the comments! |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by songcrafter on Thursday, January 20 @ 13:48:16 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | This is a poem that shows the personal feeling, the pain of loss and the desire for what is gone.
what a great poem, I feel your heart is in each line.
Not everyone can express feeling in such a vivid way. you have a real talent. |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by algoressister on Sunday, July 10 @ 14:23:50 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | a little wordy...it is integral....and I appreciate the theme.....I guess after the 6th or 7th broken heart...you stop paying attention to how it feels....thanks, Laurel |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by MattCharnock on Sunday, May 29 @ 10:29:09 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) 1016: Can't open file: 'users.MYI'. (errno: 145) | | Unfortunatley this falls way shy of being good. too contrived and way too obvious. i do not feel empathy for the "character" of the poem and i cannot connect. it appears that you have just put rhyming words together and then tried to work out how they connect later resulting in a line which loses flow and sense. Length of line is interesting and is disturbing to the reader suggesting the disturbace that the character is feeling which is an interesting concept, however i do not believe that this was intentional nor explored fully. i do like the line about the battle scene heart being deserted - nice - but again a rethink of order of words may have improved this. |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by Gone on Friday, November 11 @ 02:59:38 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | Welcome friend to the show that never ends..
Live and wonder why between this and that and what it seems
doesn't really make the scene
a show that breathes and dies obscene.
Wonder where and why you were
what love and live and youth differed
Today is not and never will
be what lovers wish it'd kill. |
Re: One more Broken Heart (Score: 1)
by stormy on Friday, September 09 @ 08:15:02 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | Such a heartfelt write. Beautifully sad. My favorite line..
Love can be so brutal and reckless that it can let you drown in your own tears..
I love that emotional line, I have for so long tried to find the words to say just that and you have said it perfectly. This brought a tear to my eye. Wonderful writing. |
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Poem's Rating
Average Score: 3.77
Votes: 49
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