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Reflective
Posted by on Friday, May 09 @ 00:00:00 UTC

Deceived Heart
on Friday, May 09 @ 00:00:00 UTC
probat writes:: " The day you left was the same day life lost it's meaning
Girl how could you leave when on your love I was leaning?
We went through the thick and thin but you still saw a reason to leave
Baby we knew eachother's fantasies but me still you had to decive
Don't you remember those long walks at the park?

How about the way we kissed eachother after dark?
Baby you threw our memories away as if they were rotten
Girl the way I shared your laughter and tears have you forgotten?
You call him your man but he can't make you smile the way I did
Girl when I was your's for you I would die and pay the highest bid
Your pictures on my wall but your body in his arms
The picture in my mind of the both of you me it harms
Lady I gave you all I had but that wasn't enough
Know I'm alone and life from easy has turned rough

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"Deceived Heart" | Login/Create an Account | 3 comments | Search Discussion
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Re: Deceived Heart (Score: 0)
by Anonymous on Sunday, May 11 @ 15:19:01 UTC
You need to stop using the noun "Baby"!!!


Re: Deceived Heart (Score: 1)
by SparklingFlurry on Saturday, May 17 @ 09:34:53 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message)
(this is a general comment on all of your poems)You also might want to use commas, they make reading easier. Your inverted sentance structures...I guess they may be part of your style, but they make the rhyme sound forced to me.


Re: Deceived Heart (Score: 1)
by full_of_grace on Tuesday, August 16 @ 13:28:43 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) http://www.poetrypoem.com/fullofgrace
Stunning. I really cant find the words for x-pression!!

keep 'em coming!


 
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