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Posted by
on Wednesday, May 18 @ 00:46:48 UTC
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: What A Fool To Throw Away Our Love
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on Wednesday, May 18 @ 00:46:48 UTC
corruptedspirit writes:: " I remember running my hands over your soft silky skin,
The amount of passion I still hold for you more powerful than sin,
Waking next to you and seeing that perfect smile,
To see you just once more, I walk forever and a mile,
Your green eyes that shone like the morning dew upon the grass,
Just to see them again on all the money in the world I’d pass,
You sparked a flame deep inside like no-one else can,
You made me feel so much more than a mere man,
The three years we spent weren’t always great,
But you even used to turn me on when you’d get irate,
Then after we’d shouted and sworn,
Soon after a new relationship was born,
We’d forgive each other, and then make love,
And the moments after, I realised we fit like hand and glove,
Why did we throw it all away?
What happened on that dreadful day?
I guess now I’ll never know,
My feelings never again will I be able to show,
The mistake I made leaving you,
I’ll live with it forever making me blue,
I wish I knew then what I know now,
My real feelings for you I’d surely tell,
I threw away the only love I’ve ever known,
No-one since you these feelings I've shown,
The love I felt for your perfection were honest and true,
I found the perfect qualities in a woman, the only trouble is they all belong to you!
"
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Re: What A Fool To Throw Away Our Love (Score: 1)
by JDcool (jdcool038@yahoo.com) on Wednesday, May 18 @ 09:00:24 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | I can only read in a daze and think "oh my god". For you are so brilliant to me. The words.....the story....all so wonderful. You are about to make me cry. This poem was magnificent.
Jen |
Re: What A Fool To Throw Away Our Love (Score: 1)
by Missy on Wednesday, May 18 @ 12:29:15 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | Loved it! I can relate soo much and well was put together beautifully. Good flow and feeling. really liked this.
-Melis |
Re: What A Fool To Throw Away Our Love (Score: 1)
by EsaLoca21 on Wednesday, May 18 @ 15:11:05 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | I luv 2 read ur poemz cuz they're alwayz interesting 2 read.....every time I read one of ur poemz it'z like I wanna read ova n ova again.....SERIOUSLY!!! UNO LUV!!
ESA LOCA!! |
Re: What A Fool To Throw Away Our Love (Score: 1)
by MusicalPoet on Thursday, May 19 @ 00:05:34 UTC
(User Info | Send a Message) | | Ok. So, I thought the concept behind the poem was good. However, the rhyming seemed just a little too forced. I really, really like the emotion you put into it, but I was a little distracted by the almost trite sounding rhymes. I'm not trying to put down your writing, I think you are very talented. But, perhaps you might want to look over this again and see if you might be able to tweak it a little bit. Keep writing, I like your work. |
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Poem's Rating
Average Score: 5
Votes: 2
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